Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
