it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
