Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
