am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
