On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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