He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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