I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
