Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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