He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
