ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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