Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
