I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
