Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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