So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
