Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
