Im at strip club and am horny
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
