i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
