yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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