i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
