i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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