i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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