he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
