Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
