im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
