I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
