You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
