woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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