Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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