sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
