That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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