Dual....:-)
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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