Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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