Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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