I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Still dying that you shit outside
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
