what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
