is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
