Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
