Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
