break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
