Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
