32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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