I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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