i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
