On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
