I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
