What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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