He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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