Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
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