She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize