I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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