So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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