So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
