Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
