summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
