none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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